Growing Hope

Growing Hope

Along with the daylight lasting longer every day (6pm today!), this lovely Gerber Daisy is helping me stay grateful for the small things and hopeful for the inevitable Spring. This plant was given to me 4 years ago by my wonderful 6th graders at Henry Hudson School #28 in Rochester and my teacher friends Jess and Mari. This flower blooms faithfully, every year, several times a year, off and on, without fanfare or reward except to do what it does best…bloom. On the porch in the Summer and in my bay window in the Winter – without fail – it lives out its destiny on its own schedule.

I am in an interesting transitional time right now and not sure what my destiny is going to be…NOT a midlife crisis mind you – a very insightful time and thankfully I have had a small breather for some good, quiet, peaceful thinking about my next steps. Every day I do a little work on getting ready for Semester at Sea and a little on promoting the book (pending Wegman’s books signing, a March 6th Good Day Rochester appearance, and applying to be a vendor for Barnes & Noble) in addition to my work-work, board work and volunteer work. Every day I do a little imagining a little hmmm-ing and a lot of questioning…

It’s more like I am in my own fallow ground – surrounded by the necessary soil and time for something to grow. Waiting…mostly patient waiting with sprinkles of “What ifs…” and “How am I going to…” My garlic doesn’t know how many more months, weeks or days it has until it pops out of the ground so why do I need to know the exact timeline of my life plan? When the time is right to break up the fallow ground – clear the weeds and plant new seeds – I believe it will present itself.  Only God knows and I work hard to trust it is all unfolding exactly as planned – even the hard stuff.  A comfort and a blessing to have that reassurance.

Of course, the hamster still runs in the wheel at times with worry – the What Ifs creep in, there is bad news in Venezuela, another crime victim in my town, a struggling friend, a challenging situation…which I try to maneuver around. Besides constant prayer, my latest mantra is “puppies and kittens and puppies and kittens and puppies andandkittensandpuppiesandkittensandpupppiesanskittens…” to erase any scary, negative, nasty meanness I see or hear…I know this is a privilege. I can barely watch TV (so much violence and dumb stuff) and have been clicking “I don’t want to see this” a lot more on Facebook.  Don’t have the space in my mind for the junk.  No room in the garden for weeds.

I am still blooming in Rochester so these ponderings are not in an effort to get out of Dodge or to plan my escape to get out of Winter…the season which I of course love dearly like a sibling (remember I am no longer a Winter Complainer).  A time to every purpose under heaven – and – this is my time to be fallow…

How are you blooming where you are planted?

Have a Nothing New Day and Weekend! ~Kristin


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